The Stockholm Syndrome

Ninety days and counting since lockdown began.

Three months of uncertainty and you begin to understand that house arrest has its drawbacks. If on top you add social distancing and fear of dying you got your plate full. In spite of the obvious there’s a puzzling rumor growing out there. “I’ve kinda gotten used to it”. “I may choose to stay home when it’s over”. “I like the idea of living in my pajamas, no makeup, working from home and Zooming only when I feel like it. Also delivery is my new way of life”.

Limbo has its charms, can’t argue with that. It’s very much like floating above the fray inside a bubble of amniotic fluid. Things like the daily fight for a parking space are totally absent. Remember running late for a meeting, praying oh God, dear God, please. I need a space tout de suite? (And finding a space just to have a schmuck cut in front and take it?) Blood pressure surge and the loss of a week in your life expectancy; all that now in the past.

What we did not see coming was people settling into the new reality.

Three months of absent hairdressers -no cuts, no roots, no highlights- and we all start looking like our mothers. The men look like Santa Claus. The younger crowd in the absence of every-other- day- Pilates have abs going to flab. You open your closet and wonder who the f…k bought all this junk? Faux fur jackets, designer bags and stilettos? (stiletti?). Best to stay comfy inside the cocoon; if someone else wants to go play butterfly, bully for her.

Like death by accident it arrived with no warning. In stages we first had: denial. Don’t worry; this is just for the Chinese. Then rage: I’m missing a. trips, b. parties, c. wedding (s). Then sorrow: I want to hold my kids, grandkids, friends, lover (s). All now replaced by acceptance and resignation.

New life consists on getting up, homeschooling, ordering delivery, try to shower before noon, think of something new, EASY, to cook, try not to kill husband/wife, kid (s), lover (s) or assorted roommates, focus on tutorial, make bed before going back to bed, pick a book, chuck book and go to a Netflix no brainer. We hardly speak on the phone anymore. What is there to talk about?

The following things we do have learned. We did not dress for ourselves but for recognition in the other person’s eye. What made us look forward to morning was the yet unfulfilled promise of yesterday. An important part of happiness was preparing for it. The pandemic took all that away. Do not tell me we should focus on what we will do once everything is back to normal. What normal! Pre-March 15? Don´t think so. That one’s gone for good.

When people ask me where I would like to travel, I tell them to the past.

*Stockholm Syndrome: whereby victims retained against their will develop an attachment to their captors and confinement.