TIMELINE

Youth is vastly overrated. I know it. I was young once and believe me it is a confusing and miserable time.

They say youth is wasted on the young; I beg to differ since only by passing through the throes and pitfalls of having the gravitas of an amoeba -not a child, not an adult- can you fully appreciate the joy of coming into your own.

Childhood on the other hand can be a delight.

The ages between seven and eleven or in my late-bloomer-case fourteen, is a time of magical games. You can be a queen and storm the castle or be a Roman captive and walk in chains; spend your days catching sardines kept in a jar by your bedside at night only to find them floating on top, dead and bloated the next morning.

It is an age of perpetually dirty finger nails, sweaty little bodies scraped knees and matted hair; you play till the sun sets and then come in only for a bath and dinner.

You fall asleep without knowing or caring when or where.

You think your parents are God; or at least as good looking.

Then adolescence sets in and ruins the party

You want to be popular, beautiful, poised. Your wash your hair every day and dream about clothes and growing boobs. You want to turn heads, but mostly you turn into a giggly fool. Guys want to kill it with the girls but the girls turn guys down with a laugh.

It’s a life of excruciating pain and embarrassment and nobody understands how you feel; this is the loneliest you will ever be until you turn into an old fart and become invisible.

The twenties is a good time. You are at the starting block, raring to go.You finally got the physical part together: you have shinning hair, you look fresh and pretty; sometimes even stunning. You have great boobs.

And great confidence.

You try your hand at the game of seduction. You nail down one or two wins and it feels exhilarating. Guys on the other hand have mastered a couple of moves and women seem to fall for them. They cannot believe how easy it all turned out and this cements their belief on gender superiority.

Guys think about girls all the time but also think girls must be pretty dense to fall for their act.

Then between the of ages 30 and 55 everybody goes into Golden Time. It is finally there: the invincible age.

Life hits you in the solar plexus and gives you a taste of power like nothing you have experienced before. Time dances by rich and slow like molasses and stretches on forever twisting and turning so unexpectedly you cannot see where it ends. Or imagine it will ever end.

You lasso time on the go and make it your slave: it will never leave your side and it will serve as long as you want: a never-ending feast of the senses.

Then sixty creeps in like a cat burglar at night. No noise, no warning and steals everything. It takes you completely by surprise; this was only supposed to happen to other people, but is not totally without a heart. Sixty will stand still for a short time at the cusp like a dancer caught in flight–a space bracketed between two ages. And offer you one last glimpse at glory.

A decade later the dog will start running -years will go by in a flash, uncaring- and time will hurtle downhill at unfathomable speed until it crashes and breaks its neck.

You will have just one question, everybody does: where did it all go?

We know time is not linear, it laughs at calendars and clocks. Some years have no identity; some have etched their faces forever.

Pain is bad and makes time go by slowly, happiness on the other hand is the ultimate trap because it steps on the accelerator just when you wish to take it easy and slow on the road.

A new year has begun. We sent and received messages from friends and lovers wishing them –and us- the best year, a happy year and memorable times ahead. Let it be known I will settle for an average year, like the ones whose memory has been erased from my mind. A silly year, an ordinary-Joe-kinda-year, I leave the extraordinary for others.

I have lowered my expectation considerably: a 1981, or a 1997, even a 2010, will do just fine. In 2021

I will feel perfectly content if only time spares us the worst and, if possible, slows down a bit.